When you’re trying to finish typing an essay at 3am
This is my favorite post. Nothing will ever be as funny to me.
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
OMG… today at school I asked to use the bathroom because i HATE MATH CLASS!! and im wasting time and after 5 minutes of taking selfies and blogging on my tumblr blog my teacher walks into the bathroom and says “What are you doing?” And I accidentally said “None of your business, Cumberbitch!” and he stood there shocked but then he said “Who do you ship?” and now we follow each other on tumblr!
this is a drama-free blog. take your plays and musicals elsewhere
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.