asphyxion:

i went to a high school where they played jeopardy music when you had about 30 seconds to get to class and i shit you not best part of the day was seeing kids sprinting to class with this music playing

colorado-wannabe:

So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels, and the kid next to me just casually says “I can’t draw hands.”

tvspecial:

when someone you like describes their type and it’s obviously not you

lshifomu101:

some guy added me on facebook

and when i accepted

he sent me a message saying “who r u”

161neveralone161:

beforethebereavement:

hyrulian-feminist:

toomuchtaylor:

middle-east-beast:

Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll

Moaning Myrtle went alone too and was killed by a giant snake.

Katie Bell also went alone and was cursed by an opal necklace.

Taylor Swift went alone and Ellen Degeneres made her fall to the ground with fear.

Now she’s lying on the cold hard ground

Last comment omfg

australiansanta:

u know when someone really annoying is talking and you can almost hear the XDDDDD in their voice

cyberthug13:

the hangover 3: wow I’ve been drugged again Lmfao my friends are nuts!were crazy white folks

thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

kawaiians:

my mom refused to buy me ice cream because she said we need to go on a diet but she just walked in on me making a chocolate milkshake out of ice and cocoa powder and i saw it. i saw the fear in her eyes. im adapting and she knows that i will soon be unstoppable