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Wordswithoutaneverafter, myheartisnuclearr, sunriseontheeastsidee, disc0urage, breathofsaltyair, and beyondthe-body personal collab<3
Posted on 19th Apr at 12:02 AM, with 95,711 notes
In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

Posted on 19th Apr at 12:01 AM, with 10,613 notes

imadad3:

firstgaydog:

in pokemon you can battle a cop

you can battle a cop in real life if you arent a weenie

Posted on 19th Apr at 12:00 AM, with 13,247 notes
mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP COUSIN
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP COUSIN

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

Posted on 19th Apr at 12:00 AM, with 51,373 notes
Posted on 18th Apr at 9:32 PM, with 436,403 notes

lecic-has-a-shovel:

yungterra:

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

I completely photosynthesize with this

Posted on 18th Apr at 12:17 PM, with 1,283 notes

heckacute:

You know what they say: Life is like a box of chocolates, but the chocolates have been replaced with big bugs and you have to eat the bugs and you’re on television. It’s a reality show called Eat The Bugs and this is the pilot episode. You eat all of those bugs, but the show never gets picked up so nobody ever sees it and you don’t win the big cash prize that they promised. That’s what life is like. 

Posted on 18th Apr at 3:29 AM, with 34,485 notes

tishue:

there’s a group of men on the tv answering a survey about “how much they really know about women” and they asked “which percentage of women do not orgasm from intercourse alone” and they all answered 15 when the real answer was 75 and their faces were just abysmal it gave me life

Posted on 18th Apr at 1:40 AM, with 40,246 notes

vinegod:

My dog York won’t do it for the vine by Wellington Boyce

Posted on 17th Apr at 9:47 PM, with 35,289 notes
connietough:

#it looks like joff is jammin to some 90’s rap but marg is more into grunge

connietough:

#it looks like joff is jammin to some 90’s rap but marg is more into grunge

Posted on 17th Apr at 9:47 PM, with 80,229 notes

chauvinistsushi:

contraception:

the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people

image

Posted on 17th Apr at 7:02 PM, with 82,948 notes

nonbinarymermaid:

epic-vines:

vine by: Garrison Sigmun

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS

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